Thinking/Sinking

Today’s thought. Why do people listen to you?

-sensei

Earthquake Brothers, Tsunami Sisters

 

I have been absent from the interweb for some time now. The fact is, sometimes we just lose sight of what is important. Lets be honest with each other (sometimes I’m perhaps too honest). It is easy to forget about what really matters, we get so caught up in our daily routine…we forget. We forget about words, thoughts, lyrics, deeds, and people. For I, the Sensei, even forget how much my students need my teaching. Perhaps it is I who need the students, however. Forgetfulness often lures us into hidden snares. We must be mindful.

Mindful of each other.

An ancient maxim reads…

Do not let forgetfulness creep in. Be mindful. Do not let indifference begin. Be mindful. Do not let apathy sit within. Be mindful. Help cary the load of your brother’s sin. Be mindful.

Learn to control the self-centeredness that sets in each of our lives. Now is the time to be mindful. Especially mindful of our neighbors in Japan. Mother nature could have her way anytime, anywhere. The important thing remains: be mindful, race to the side of those who need.

-sensei

Thoughts on Thoughts

It has been far too long since my last post. I do apologize. You’ve heard the term “no excuses,” this accurately describes the current predicament I occupy. Unfortunately, todays nugget of wisdom will be smaller than most.

Only to prove a point though!

The right word satisfies more than a multitude of words. The word today is: Filter. This is my thought on thoughts. I urge you, please filter your thoughts. Whoever told you to “speak your mind” probably wasn’t subjected to your unfiltered consciousness. For the sake of humanity, put a cap on that thing! Head the advise of this great man…

“You are wearing out my ears with your mouth” -Somebody Important

-sensei

The Dangers of Longboarding

Longboarding is an activity that preys upon unsuspecting, innocent students who believe they are subscribing to a certain status and culture with good moral and value assumptions. This particular activity brings three detestable results to our youth: laziness, physical harm, and decreased intelligence. These three adverse effects of longboarding should spur us to take a stand against such atrocities. The continued education of our young adults is an important task that must be maintained in order to secure the intellectual longevity of our country. Longboarding opposes that system of continued education under the guise of fun transportation.

The first problem that longboarding creates with young adults is laziness. Walking around campus, to class, takes up a majority of the time students spend on campus. Students often want to cut that travel time in half in order to make time for different activities around campus. So in order to make travel faster around campus, students buy longboards. This faster mode of transportation fosters laziness in the students. The snooze button on the alarm gets used a few more times each morning because they have a longboard. Breakfast is often the first thing to go for students with longboards, and in turn the brain does not function properly in the mornings. The brain goes into a state of vegetation, and students are unable to stay awake during class because of the decreased wake up time. Walking often gives students time to collect their thoughts and mentally prepare for class, longboarding does not provide this opportunity. Not to mention the decrease in physical usage of the legs harms the student’s physical health.

The positive physical benefits of walking around campus greatly outweigh the decrease in travel time. Walking raises the heart rate, works out muscles in the body, and allows for interaction among other students. All of these things are essential to the student in order to maintain a healthy college lifestyle. Longboarding may provide a raised heart rate and some exercise, but never to the degree that walking around campus does. So longboarding not only foster laziness in students, it can also cause physical harm.

The last and most dangerous effect of longboarding is a decrease in intelligence among students. This decrease in mental activity can be seen in two ways, lack of interaction among other students and lack of participation in the classroom. The first is obvious; how can you meet and talk with other students while you are longboarding around campus? It is impossible. Even if you consider getting off of the longboard, you will be late to class because the snooze button was used too many times that morning. This leads directly to the second intellectual pitfall of longboarding, decrease in class participation. This stems from the laziness longboarding brings. The inability to function in class leads to poor performance, poor grades, and poor status. Staying awake and engaged in class is impossible without some time to wake up before. Because of the nature of longboarding as discussed earlier, this is not possible. This lack of participation leads to poor grades, which eventually, can lead to economic poverty due to a lack of education.

Longboarding is a problematic activity among the youth of America. It leads to nothing but self-destruction, which in turn could lead to the destruction of our national community. It does this by destroying education and community on the local level. College is a time to create good habits that will enable you to be successful in life after college. Longboarding does nothing but set you up for failure through laziness, physical incompetence, and decrease in intellectual activity. Beware of the longboard, it may move you in a direction you don’t want to go.

-sensei

How to Help a Friend (I Love You, but You’re Wrong)

We all have friends who subscribe to the notion that they are never wrong. We go to class with them, we eat lunch with them, watch movies, take walks, car rides, and live life with these “gods of infallibility.” When faced with imminent correction, these individuals begin to engage in a poorly constructed (based loosely on a “sorta truth”) arguments defending their position. Often times the defense of their statement ends with the innocent listener being blamed with a misinterpretation of what the “Almighty Knower” said. This issue of never being wrong can extend to any number of topics, and usually does. From the nature of the universe to relationship advice, your friend will tell you exactly how you should live life. A whole host of headaches plague the brave few who befriend someone with such knowledge, and the task is seemingly impossible. I intend to make this task much easier for those few by asking one simple question…

How do you correct the uncorrectable? i.e. How can you help a friend look less like an idiot to everyone else?

The road to enlightenment is never easy. Pushing someone down that road is even easier. Every relationship with a Knower of All Knowledge eventually comes to a fork in the road. You must decide whether to put up with the current state of the friendship or be willing to sacrifice the friendship for the betterment of mankind. The world needs correcting, and so do the people in it. It is your responsibility to help the Know-It-All understand their misguidedness.

This task can only be achieved when you are willing put it all on the line for your friend.

I suggest writing a letter, leaving a memo, sending an email, or even a social networking message. The message may begin any number of ways. “Dear John, you aren’t right all the time…”"Dear John,  you suck…”"Dear John, how dare you…”"Dear John, I love you, but sometimes…” These are all valid positions to take when confronting your friend. You may prefer to have a physical conversation, and I deeply discourage this.

The reason I discourage face-to-face confrontation is obvious, the recipient of such news may lash out in anger, both physically and/or verbally. Any attack on the wealth of knowledge held by such a person can be dangerous to deal with. Also, the convenience of being able to go back and read the confrontation multiple times may help the news sink in and settle. After all, you are condemning said friend’s activities out of necessity.

You are much like Frodo carrying the ring into the depths of Mordor. You don’t WANT to, but you MUST. Whatever joy you derive from confronting your friend should be held deep in your heart, never to be known. Either way the situation goes, you end up a winner by A. losing a terrible friend or B. gaining version 2.0 of the old one. These tips will help you when confronting your friends.

-sensei

Labor On! Thine America!

Labor Day is the celebration of the American way AND the continued renewal of thus way. We choose this day to honor the things that make America possible. Grown men and woman (children too, if you’re ok with that) laboring throughout the year to ascertain this “Americanness” and also to fill their pockets (and America’s pocket too). Day in, Day out, Day in, Day out…working…sweating…meeting…lunching…elevating…office chairing…

BUT

Where do these strong, successful men and women come from?

BABIES

Without babies…no one would exist. The elderly would die, end of story. As everyone knows, babies grow up into adults. Adults are the bricks of America, with babies as a solid foundation. The American Adult continually operates this wonderful, magical country. They laugh, work, and play hard. Eventually they…fall in love with one another, and in turn have babies, kids, teenagers, etc… I know a thorough explanation of life’s cycle isn’t necessary. You get the picture! All of that to say this, mothers across the globe (and Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie Junior) go through hours (days even!) of horrific pain, laboring to release a child from her womb. That child grows up into a healthy, wealthy, wise business man; cut throat in his ways, refusing to give his employees time off so that America can continue to prosper!?!

*(which also causes the invention of labor unions…yada yada…employees deserve to be treated a certain way…whatever…labor day comes into existence…which honestly wouldn’t even exist without adults that stem from babies).

THIS is the real reason behind labor day. We should honor those women we know as mothers. Tell a mother how much you appreciate the labor she went through for her country. I implore you to give honor where honor is due. Perhaps, you could make a visit to the local hospital with several bags of greasy, meaty hamburgers and pass them out to hungry, laboring mothers as a sign of your own gratitude. Go into the room and offer your assistance, whatever it takes. Let them know YOU care.

-Sensei

Weasels, Guitar, Music Industry, Poop, and Pie?!?!

Yes! The Sensei makes a triumphant return from a long, stressful summer with his students. I am quite happy to be back, and feeling especially inspired to impart my universal knowledge to you. The topics suggested in the title today may seem abrupt and unrelated, but I assure you that weasels, guitars, the music industry, poop, and pie have more to do with each other than you think. As with everything else in the world…

Let us begin today by turning our attention to nature’s own tiny terror…the weasel. These small predators are indigenous to Europe, particularly England. The weasel plays a two-fold role in the food chain there. They eat mice and other small vermin, whilst being hunted by larger predators such as hawks or badgers. In order to avoid becoming food, weasels make their home in the base of trees or holes in the ground. This crafty and cunning creature utilizes the tree for protection, which is one of the various uses a tree has.

Trees are used by many woodland creatures for safety and protection. Humans use the tree for more than just protection. Paper, houses, boats, oxygen, shoooes, decks, carts, chairs, instruments, and guitars, are all constructed from trees. These connection seem to be some of the more obvious ones. If it weren’t for a man chasing a weasel into a tree, the guitar might not have ever been invented. Sure, some of you are saying it seems impossible that the common weasel inspired a man to build the first guitar, you are right. The man cut down the tree to get the weasel, and built a guitar in order to celebrate his experience. This song is known as Pop Goes the Weasel.

After writing said song (with guitar accompaniment), people wanted the man to perform at parties and other social gathers. So, the music industry was born. The man toured all of Europe telling his tale of man and weasel (and the invention of pop music). People came from far and wide to listen to his songs. Soon, people unable to attend his performances wanted copies of the music for their personal enjoyment. The music industry saw an opportunity to make some money, and album sales went through the roof. The touring wore on the man, but he was contractually obligated to make 17 more tours, and 22 more albums. His lesser known hits are, Bang Goes the Buckaroo, Pip Goes the Peacock, and Hop Goes the Rabbit…

Just as we all know….everybody poops…including the guitar playing, weasel popping, star of our story…

…and the ancient Egyptians who may have invented pie.

Let this be a lesson to all of you, everything is connected. Our lives are dependent upon the generations before, both animals and humans, vegetation and culinary, lavatory and otherwise. The decisions we make today will forever affect humanity.

-Sensei

Thanks to my students James, David, Nicole, Torri, and Joey for inspiring me to write this piece

Possibilities: Life’s Ticket to Infinite Confusion

As the semester has come to a quiet close, it is important to talk about what happens after graduation. For all of the graduates out there, congraduations. Welcome to the real world. You are free from the constraints of the American education system, but now you are apart of something much worse. Real Life. Prepare to be even more confused, conflicted, and constricted than ever before. That is neither here, nor there though. The real beauty awaits in the path of possibilities that now lies before you.

possibilities

The number of things that you are capable of achieving with your life is at its peak, and this is the most unsettling news you’ll hear. Life’s possibilities are nothing more than a facade of confusion. What should you do with your life? How are you supposed to just pick between managing a Taco Bell or becoming the CFO of an American giant. HUH?!? This seems an impossible task. yes. Behind each possible choice lies another possible choice…and another…and another…and another…etc…The confusion and constant barrage of choices can only continue with each new possibility. This is no way to live in your new found “freedom.”

This cycle continues on and on and on, until death do you part. You need to take life back from the infinite abyss of possibilities! So how can you make sense of all the possibilities within your own life? Easy. Do Nothing. Enjoy doing nothing. Take nothing, and give nothing! The only answer to possibilities is nothing. Nothing looks different for everyone. I prefer sitting and staring aimlessly, but you must be careful to refrain from dreaming of all the possibilities you’ve so cleverly avoided.

Go now, and confront this storm of impassable possibilities with your armory of nothing.

-sensei

Failure is ALWAYS an Option

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that failure is not an option. False. Failure is most definitely always an option. Where did this crazy notion against failure start? My guess…conspiracy. The government is trying to keep you from failing, which is keeping you from the fruitfulness you are capable of attaining. Perhaps the most useful tool mankind has, failure is for you. Better than our intellect, strength, endurance, and sharp wit. Failure is the KEY to mankinds resilience. Without persistent failure, how could we show the universe our worth? It would be impossible!

Success…

Failure…

Both of these 7 letter words add up to 14 letters. They often have more to do with each other than at first glance. Most people ask themselves. “How did I fail to achieve success?” The real question is “How did you succeed in achieving failure?“  Failure is the missing piece! Some people just have no idea how to fail, that is what this post is for. I want you to want to fail. I have had success at many things in life, but nothing brings me more joy than simple failure. Here is a small list of ways you can fail and reap the bountiful benefit:

Failure to cook a delicious dinner, so you have to eat P.F. Changs.

Failure to mow the lawn, so a stranger from the city does it for you.

Failure to park in an authorized zone, so someone else moves your car for you.

Failure to charge your phone last night, so no one will bother you today.

Failure to study for a test, so you get to take it again next semester.

Next time life throws you to the ground, stay down there and find that lost contact you’ve been missing. Say it with me, “Failure is my friend”

-sensei

Snuggie Reform in Oklahoma Puppy Mills

I have recently become aware of some legislature that is attempting to pass in Oklahoma. It is called the “Black Market Breeders’ Bill.”  Menacing I know. The underground puppy population in Oklahoma is staggering. Oklahoma is the second highest producer of puppies in the US, and THERE ISN’T ANY LEGISLATION ABOUT IT!?!?!?! Puppy Mills in Oklahoma are getting completely out of control. So the big question I have is, “What are we going to do about it?” Honestly, I think the answer is simple.

Puppy Snuggies

Imagine if every poor, cold, lonely, helpless, sheltered, cramped puppy in the state could receive his or her own snuggie. This would completely change everything. It is practically the same as giving some African child a pair of Toms. This would revolutionize the puppy mill industry, all the while satisfying those pesky animal rights activists. It doesn’t matter how cramped the living quarters become because in a snuggie (which is comfort at its best) everything is ok and magical. Let’s be honest with each other, snuggies make everything better.  I personally never take mine off!

I think this is really the first step to reform. Give the puppies something to live for! I mean it is the American way. We give uneeded “things” to appear as if we care about the standard of living, without attempting to change the actual situation. So I say puppy snuggies for all. Who knows. Maybe it would be something that could really take off and be implemented in the criminal justice system. Every single inmate with his or her own snuggie…I smell the future…and it smells comfortable.

-sensei

(if you want to find out more info about the Black Market Breeders’ Bill visit http://www.okpuppymilltruth.org/)