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Weasels, Guitar, Music Industry, Poop, and Pie?!?!

September 2, 2010

Yes! The Sensei makes a triumphant return from a long, stressful summer with his students. I am quite happy to be back, and feeling especially inspired to impart my universal knowledge to you. The topics suggested in the title today may seem abrupt and unrelated, but I assure you that weasels, guitars, the music industry, poop, and pie have more to do with each other than you think. As with everything else in the world…

Let us begin today by turning our attention to nature’s own tiny terror…the weasel. These small predators are indigenous to Europe, particularly England. The weasel plays a two-fold role in the food chain there. They eat mice and other small vermin, whilst being hunted by larger predators such as hawks or badgers. In order to avoid becoming food, weasels make their home in the base of trees or holes in the ground. This crafty and cunning creature utilizes the tree for protection, which is one of the various uses a tree has.

Trees are used by many woodland creatures for safety and protection. Humans use the tree for more than just protection. Paper, houses, boats, oxygen, shoooes, decks, carts, chairs, instruments, and guitars, are all constructed from trees. These connection seem to be some of the more obvious ones. If it weren’t for a man chasing a weasel into a tree, the guitar might not have ever been invented. Sure, some of you are saying it seems impossible that the common weasel inspired a man to build the first guitar, you are right. The man cut down the tree to get the weasel, and built a guitar in order to celebrate his experience. This song is known as Pop Goes the Weasel.

After writing said song (with guitar accompaniment), people wanted the man to perform at parties and other social gathers. So, the music industry was born. The man toured all of Europe telling his tale of man and weasel (and the invention of pop music). People came from far and wide to listen to his songs. Soon, people unable to attend his performances wanted copies of the music for their personal enjoyment. The music industry saw an opportunity to make some money, and album sales went through the roof. The touring wore on the man, but he was contractually obligated to make 17 more tours, and 22 more albums. His lesser known hits are, Bang Goes the Buckaroo, Pip Goes the Peacock, and Hop Goes the Rabbit…

Just as we all know….everybody poops…including the guitar playing, weasel popping, star of our story…

…and the ancient Egyptians who may have invented pie.

Let this be a lesson to all of you, everything is connected. Our lives are dependent upon the generations before, both animals and humans, vegetation and culinary, lavatory and otherwise. The decisions we make today will forever affect humanity.

-Sensei

Thanks to my students James, David, Nicole, Torri, and Joey for inspiring me to write this piece

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