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The Dangers of Longboarding

September 23, 2010

Longboarding is an activity that preys upon unsuspecting, innocent students who believe they are subscribing to a certain status and culture with good moral and value assumptions. This particular activity brings three detestable results to our youth: laziness, physical harm, and decreased intelligence. These three adverse effects of longboarding should spur us to take a stand against such atrocities. The continued education of our young adults is an important task that must be maintained in order to secure the intellectual longevity of our country. Longboarding opposes that system of continued education under the guise of fun transportation.

The first problem that longboarding creates with young adults is laziness. Walking around campus, to class, takes up a majority of the time students spend on campus. Students often want to cut that travel time in half in order to make time for different activities around campus. So in order to make travel faster around campus, students buy longboards. This faster mode of transportation fosters laziness in the students. The snooze button on the alarm gets used a few more times each morning because they have a longboard. Breakfast is often the first thing to go for students with longboards, and in turn the brain does not function properly in the mornings. The brain goes into a state of vegetation, and students are unable to stay awake during class because of the decreased wake up time. Walking often gives students time to collect their thoughts and mentally prepare for class, longboarding does not provide this opportunity. Not to mention the decrease in physical usage of the legs harms the student’s physical health.

The positive physical benefits of walking around campus greatly outweigh the decrease in travel time. Walking raises the heart rate, works out muscles in the body, and allows for interaction among other students. All of these things are essential to the student in order to maintain a healthy college lifestyle. Longboarding may provide a raised heart rate and some exercise, but never to the degree that walking around campus does. So longboarding not only foster laziness in students, it can also cause physical harm.

The last and most dangerous effect of longboarding is a decrease in intelligence among students. This decrease in mental activity can be seen in two ways, lack of interaction among other students and lack of participation in the classroom. The first is obvious; how can you meet and talk with other students while you are longboarding around campus? It is impossible. Even if you consider getting off of the longboard, you will be late to class because the snooze button was used too many times that morning. This leads directly to the second intellectual pitfall of longboarding, decrease in class participation. This stems from the laziness longboarding brings. The inability to function in class leads to poor performance, poor grades, and poor status. Staying awake and engaged in class is impossible without some time to wake up before. Because of the nature of longboarding as discussed earlier, this is not possible. This lack of participation leads to poor grades, which eventually, can lead to economic poverty due to a lack of education.

Longboarding is a problematic activity among the youth of America. It leads to nothing but self-destruction, which in turn could lead to the destruction of our national community. It does this by destroying education and community on the local level. College is a time to create good habits that will enable you to be successful in life after college. Longboarding does nothing but set you up for failure through laziness, physical incompetence, and decrease in intellectual activity. Beware of the longboard, it may move you in a direction you don’t want to go.


129 Comments leave one →
  1. September 23, 2010 9:48 am

    Are you a rollerblader?
    This is one of the stupidest blog posts I have ever read. Yeah, I skate – not a longboard perse – but I do cruise around. Speaking from experience, rolling around actually requires alertness and adaptability to your surroundings. Try speeding down the sidewalk on Xanax and meet me at the infirmary. If you think Longboarders suck, I’d love to hear your opinion on alcohol and drug abuse which also have a detrimental effect on a students alertness and willingness to push the snooze button.
    Oh, and adding an image of someone riding a regular if old skateboard already undermines your argument. Pool skating and longboarding are not the same thing at all.

    • September 23, 2010 9:59 am

      Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. I ABSOLUTELY don’t think longboarders suck. I failed to mention that this entire post is nothing more than an exercise in epideictic rhetoric. Which basically means this whole thing is just worthless, but thanks for taking it seriously. You seem like a devote longboarder, so keep defending your love!

      PS…the man in the picture is riding an old school longboard (difference now, yes. back then, no)

      • Kirk permalink
        September 23, 2010 3:27 pm

        I was fair-certain that this post was all cheek, and am very glad to receive confirmation!

      • Timmy permalink
        December 5, 2011 12:36 pm


    • September 23, 2010 6:54 pm

      I’ll have to agree with Wheelbite. This blog is so fallacious that I had to laugh, and laugh again. First of all to claim that long-boarding fosters laziness is equivalent to claiming that driving automobiles spurs laziness as well. It is logical that one may want to get from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time as possible. That’s why we started riding horses instead of eating them.

      Secondly, the most physical harm you could possible have on a longboard is falling off the thing (and unless you have the balance of a squirrel high off of fermented berries, falling off is impossible).

      Thirdly, talking to other students doesn’t make you smarter, so that argument is null and void. Also, getting more sleep actually spurs the brain to develop substantially better, so that argument is void as well. Nice read, though I’m pretty sure you couldn’t have possible be serious with this blog.

    • alifeofcolor permalink
      September 24, 2010 9:19 am

      What does rollerblading have to do with anything?

      • September 24, 2010 10:07 am

        I have no idea. Rollerblading doesn’t really have anything to do with anything. There was that one awesome movie Brink though. Thanks for the post.

  2. September 23, 2010 9:57 am

    I just have to say that this is probably one of the dumbest blogs I have ever read. First of all your points are conflicting, I’m pretty sure most of the people don’t plan on walking to school, they will drive or take some other type of transportation. Also if someone is sleeping in because they can get to school faster, it makes no sense whatsoever that would be more tired. If you get more sleep, then you will be more rested and able to focus better. I don’t see your point with breakfast, just because they ride a longboard means they can’t eat breakfast? Social interaction is not a problem, because unless you’re a loner…you have friends and will be seeing them afters school. There are MANY flaws with your post: laziness, decreased intelligence…the only thing I can agree with is it can cause physical injury, but that’s not too much of a problem.


    • September 23, 2010 10:04 am

      First of all, I’m not sure you can say my points are “conflicting” without providing evidence that they actually conflict. You are simply pointing out that you don’t agree with them, which is great. I’m not even sure I agree with the sentiments of the post, it was simply an exercise. Lastly, the points you make are about as ridiculous as mine. Thanks for the comment!

      • September 24, 2010 9:43 am

        Glad to hear you’re not serious.

      • isomorphism permalink
        February 15, 2012 8:17 pm

        you aren’t the brightest person… but at least your somewhat nice to the people who respond. Hope you know that you probably offended alot of skaters with your stupid %*^ arguement.

  3. September 23, 2010 10:36 am

    I Like how everyone took this way to seriously. And I am totally confused on how this made Freshly Pressed. Gives me a whole new 0utlook on what it takes to make the freshly pressed page. Really makes me think do people at wordpress read the blogs to make freshly pressed and If so I bet they all skate to work everyday. Think we all should trade in our cars and get a skateboard . Congrats on making Freshly pressed thanks for the laughs.

    • September 23, 2010 10:43 am

      Thanks for the comment! I agree, I have no idea what determines being a “fresh pressed” post. In my mind, any of my posts are way to ridiculous to matter! Anyways, if you got a laugh that’s what it’s all about. Have a great one!

  4. September 23, 2010 10:46 am

    Dude, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good writing. I subscribed. I hope to read more from you.

    • September 23, 2010 10:48 am

      Thanks for the comment, I really do appreciate it. Glad someone puts up with all this!

      • September 23, 2010 1:00 pm

        man, you had to spend a lot of time defending the merits of your blog post. i actually thought it was sarcasm from what i thought would eventually be revealed to be a writer who prefers short boards.

      • September 23, 2010 1:06 pm

        Haha, I like to keep a completely objective stance to board types. Can one board really be better than another? Thanks for taking the time to read and reply!

  5. September 23, 2010 10:57 am

    This is quite hilarious. I enjoyed the way you deconstructed the subject…”breakfast is often the first thing to go for students with longboards”…truly, the same could be said for those with cars. Fun stuff!

  6. September 23, 2010 11:24 am

    I was relieved to see in the comments that you were not serious. Still, to push one of my own pet peeves: Class-room education and college lectures are usually highly inefficient for the reasonably bright—and can (with too long days or the wrong professors) be an effective way to over-tire and bore the mind.

    • September 23, 2010 11:32 am

      Absolutely agree, speaking from my experience with looooong days and wrong professors. Too often, college just isn’t how it should be. Thanks for the comment!

      • caerbran permalink
        September 23, 2010 12:37 pm

        An interesting blog…

  7. September 23, 2010 12:41 pm

    I can tell you enjoy sarcatic humor and from some of the responses you got, made a few enemies on account of this humor 😉 It has certainly gotten me in trouble more than a few times. Anyways, always refreshing to see a different perspective on what seems to be a pretty cool sport. So what do you think the effects might be for those in their post-college years longboarding to work?? Congrats on Freshly Pressed! LB

    • September 23, 2010 12:50 pm

      hmmm, an interesting question. I suppose if you are working at a skate shop, longboarding to work would bode assurance to the management. However, I’m not sure how well it would work out for businessmen. Although, Michael Bluth rode a bike to work almost everyday. So maybe you could play it off as being environmentally conscious. In all honesty, I would love to see a bunch of businessmen, politicians, and the like riding around on longboards! In which case, the effect would be a greener society.

      In reality, I imagine ridicule from coworkers would be the real result. Anyone who wants to ride a longboard to work…be my guest. My advice would be to buy a bike (or a car!?!?!)

      haha, Thanks so much for the comment I really appreciate it!

  8. September 23, 2010 12:44 pm

    Okay, I actually clicked on this by mistake and then my mouse went into a crazy scroll. The first thing I read was comments from some deeply offended readers, so of course I had to read the post. I found it highly amusing…..I’m hoping in the future to read of your take on students and ……..hmmmmmm…….. I don’t know, cheese or gradual poisoning by chewing on pens.
    Thanks for the laugh.

    • September 23, 2010 12:51 pm

      Well it seems the universe has it in for you today! I’m really glad it pushed you my way. Thanks so much for sharing a comment.

  9. September 23, 2010 1:59 pm

    Fascinating. Fascinating. Fascinating.

  10. September 23, 2010 2:20 pm

    My mom (51) lost her job at Super 8 a few months back after 13 years of dedicated service. This caused her emotional state to spiral downwardly in an uncontrollable fashion. After many failed therapy sessions it began to seem that there was no hope for her. Until, my 2nd cousin gave her his longboard. If you catch my drift…..

  11. Thereal Decoy permalink
    September 23, 2010 2:46 pm

    There once was a lazy longboarder
    Who thought walking was out of order
    He fancied a whirl
    with a radical girl
    but sadly he couldn’t afford her

  12. September 23, 2010 2:54 pm

    As a long time skater, I first freaked out, then LO’d when I did get confirmation through the comments (and a clue from the blog title) that this was indeed written with a comedic mindset. Good one.

  13. TheGnar permalink
    September 23, 2010 3:08 pm

    hmmmm yeah I cant really agree with ur blog. If it wasn’t for longboarding I wouldn’t have lost 65 pound. In my opinion its a fun way to stay in shape. I not only got a longboard for just transportation methods but also beacuse its alot of fun to ride. I usually spend atleast 3-4 hrs a day skating to a minimum. As for “lack of interaction” goes, its not like inbetween transfer to classes are the only way to interact with people. Anywhere in general you can meet new people. Actually now that I recall most of the people I have met is because of my board rather it be from someone being interested in my board or if they skate themselves. I just dont really agree with anything you blogged about. I dunno what the hell is up with the articles and blogs and the news but it seems like everyone seems to bring down the sport.

    • September 23, 2010 3:20 pm

      It’s great to hear about all the good things longboarding has done for you. Unfortunately, you didn’t investigate enough into the seriousness of my post. Better luck next time I suppose. Thanks for the reply, keep having fun on the board.

  14. Xandalis permalink
    September 23, 2010 3:13 pm

    Wow. Just… Wow. This is kinda scary. Not scary by itself, but scary that I’ve seen plent of other articles written that “read” the same, even if they are about a different topic. And those get taken seriously. But, while we’re at it… I blame stingrays for our problems.

    • September 23, 2010 3:17 pm

      I really think you are onto something with the stingrays. I’ve always suspected them since the Steve Irwin incident. That wasn’t an accident, it was a foretelling of the coming attack from the sea. Anyways, thanks so much for the comment.

  15. September 23, 2010 3:20 pm

    Wow. If this is serious sarcasm, good job.
    My son rides long boards. He excels scholastically, eats and sleeps well, plays soccer, an excellent writer and musician and has goals. During his early childhood years and into the teens, serious skateboarding kept him out of potential trouble. It is a shame that communities in the country have laws and citizens that pretty much profile skateboarders before they leave the driveway. Thee are equal bad seeds and Ignorance on both sides of the fence.

    • September 23, 2010 3:26 pm

      Andy, Firstly, thank you so much for the comment. Secondly, I’m glad intelligent people such as yourself can read through to the heart of the article. It’s great to hear about what longboarding has done for your son. I agree that, like many sport, longboarding can focus a young man’s attention and teach discipline to be applied in other areas of life. You are also right about the bad seeds…their everywhere! Thanks again

  16. saudefloripa33pj permalink
    September 23, 2010 3:23 pm

    I doubt that this is just nonsense, a joke or whatever. It’s a bunch of bullshit though, but definely written with a purpose. Terrible (and all mistaken) post, terrible blog. You suck, congrats.

    • September 23, 2010 3:30 pm

      Thanks for the update on my status as a human being. Hopefully you can make it out to the awards ceremony when I receive the “You Suck” award. I just hope my professor (for whom this was purposefully written) doesn’t think the same thing. (fingers crossed) Thanks for the comment!

  17. September 23, 2010 3:38 pm

    Wow.. I’m not sure where you’re hatred of longboarding is coming from. But I don’t appreciate false lights on a beautiful mode of transportation.

    1. Longboarding takes quite a bit of leg strength and balance.
    I often break a sweat when I longboard, I’ve never done that walking…

    2. “The snooze button on the alarm gets used a few more times each morning because they have a longboard.”
    – More sleep for a sleep deprived generation

    3. “Breakfast is often the first thing to go for students with longboards”
    – Makes NO sense…

    4. “Walking often gives students time to collect their thoughts and mentally prepare for class, longboarding does not provide this opportunity.”
    – Like any physical activity longboarding can be meditative. I actually use it in this manner, it’s quite relaxing and the flow of the ride gives me time to think.

    5. “The last and most dangerous effect of longboarding is a decrease in intelligence among students.”
    – Again makes no sense…

    6. Why aren’t you complaining about cars?.. They’re much more of a culprit for these things…

  18. September 23, 2010 3:41 pm

    The title of the blog, “Senseless Sensei” pretty much sums it up..

    Biased, Opinion stated as fact, Poor attention to detail.

    I’m sorry you were plagued with such ignorance.

  19. September 23, 2010 3:44 pm

    Okay.. haha. I gave too much time actually reading your article and skipped over comments. Glad to see this is satire. I was scared that someone could actually be misled. Spambox my comments please :3

    • September 23, 2010 4:00 pm

      Haha, you seem like too intelligent of a person to think I am serious. I’m glad to find that you are! Thanks for the comment!

  20. Sam permalink
    September 23, 2010 3:49 pm

    Yep I am for certain an avid longboarder, and naturally I don’t agree with anything you said. I thought it was fairly obvious that you didnt really feel longboards will essentially destroy the country but I do like to see some devils advocate played on the interwebs. go you. maybe ill use this in an argument against my silly campus that has got boarding banned…. i hate it.

    • September 23, 2010 4:02 pm

      Sam, that is terrible. I’m not sure there exist any grounds for which longboarding should be banned on a campus. Unless, of course, the wheels on your longboard have spikes that slice the achilles’ heel of passersby. Thanks for the comment. Good luck with turning over the ban.

  21. September 23, 2010 4:34 pm

    Should have actually used a photo of a kook longboarding. You included a photo of a guy skating a pool. He is not on a longboard. This destroys your credibility.

    • September 24, 2010 1:50 am

      Thanks for looking after my credibility, apparently I’m not doing a good job in that department. I appreciate the comment

  22. September 23, 2010 5:19 pm

    Heh. As I read this I was first, appalled. But then I began to see that it was not meant to be taken as seriously as the title would claim. Well done, and if you haven’t you should get out on a board. It’s a great way to clear the mind! Cheers.

    • September 24, 2010 1:51 am

      Who knows what the future holds for the sensei, maybe he’ll have a board soon!?! Thanks for the comment!

  23. September 23, 2010 5:43 pm

    This post and all the comments make me smile – a great way to start a working day. Just shows you can’t always take everything seriously. Awesome reply to comments, btw.

    • September 24, 2010 1:52 am

      Welp, thank you thank you thank you. YOU get the best comment reply of all! THANKS

  24. September 23, 2010 5:47 pm

    This post is ridiculous. I longboard to class for two reasons.

    Reason 1….I love skating

    Reason 2… I did not buy a parking pass and I skate a mile to school because I like skating so much the mile long skate to class is enjoyable.

    • September 24, 2010 1:55 am

      Thanks for the comment! I also have things I love, much like you and skating. I write for two reasons

      Reason 1…..I love writing

      Reason 2…..I don’t have anything else to do during breaks between classes, and this is more enjoyable than homework!

  25. September 23, 2010 6:29 pm

    //Longboarding is a problematic activity among the youth of America. //

    Among the youth?

    I tell you, man. I am 44 and longboarding has ruined my life. I go to Longboarding Anonymous but still can’t quit the addiction. Is there any help for us?

    This is the best blog post I have ever read. 🙂

    I can only hope the heedless youth learn from your example. Stop now before it’s too late. For God’s sake, you might start snow boarding.

    It happened to me – I have three snowboards and five longboards.

    Woe is me…

    • September 24, 2010 10:21 am

      Whew, get out while you still can! Unfortunately, playing music has plagued me much like longboarding has you. Thanks for the post.

  26. September 23, 2010 6:37 pm

    We say here: Irony needs the audience to be smart enough to get it.
    When I read this I was shitting myself laughing…coz usually you find this kind of stuff on those million of white-bread mommy blogs buzzing around…
    So seeing “the sensei” standing errect – and warning young students about the dangers of boarding…HILARIOUS!!! thank you 🙂

    • September 24, 2010 1:58 am

      Thank you so much for the kind words! It brings me joy knowing anyone thinks this crap is funny, haha. Thanks.

      • September 24, 2010 2:27 am

        Be aware: you speak to a German person. We are world famous for our great sense of humour.

  27. September 23, 2010 8:20 pm

    Yah, you completely said what I was thinking, long-boarding is bad for your brain. Get your self a BMX bike.

    • September 24, 2010 1:59 am

      Agreed! I actually just learned how to drop in a bowl on a BMX bike about six months. Only stayed on the bike once, then I retired. Thanks for the comment.

  28. robbyharris permalink
    September 23, 2010 10:09 pm

    yo conan higgins, first off your names really lame. on a relevant note, This is the most horrible excuse of an article i have ever read in my entire life. It is clear to see you are a very unintelligent person from your confusion between the word “to” and “too” in the sentence “you will be late to class because the snooze button was used to many times that morning” as well as several other mistakes you made; but the fact that you make a comparison between long boarding and intelligence puts you on a level of pure moronic. in fact i wrote an essay on how horrible your essay was, feel free to read. The jist of this message is to persuade you to stop being such a uptight close minded bigot and get a soul

    • September 24, 2010 2:03 am

      FIRSTLY, thanks so much for the comment. Secondly, I have been looking for my soul everywhere. It’s been about three weeks since I last saw it. I suspect longboarders. On a relevant note, I appreciate the grammatical magnifying glass you’ve applied to my post. If you are interested in editing my future posts I can send you a draft first. thx u!

      • September 24, 2010 8:44 am

        Dude, I want to be your new best friend!!! Higgins, you kick ass! I’m not sure if I enjoy the article more now, or your replies to these boneheads. On another note, it’s awesome how many hits you are getting on your blog. People just look at mine and never leave a comment. You are on to something. Keep at it!

      • September 24, 2010 10:03 am

        Richburg, I feel like the two of us have stumbled into a cyber friendship, destined to be since the dawn of the web (which was actually in 1988ish or some crap)

  29. September 23, 2010 10:16 pm

    I love that you’re getting such attention for your blog post! Regardless of the argument you were trying to convey, the blog still got MAD publicity (and by mad, I meant BIG). Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! 😉

    Oh, and I don’t skate by the way, I skim! Loving it! 🙂

  30. September 23, 2010 11:14 pm

    Great job on getting so many people to read this article and respond to your post. It just goes to show…..

    • September 24, 2010 2:09 am

      …..that this wordpress thing doesn’t always make sense. Thanks for the words!

  31. nick permalink
    September 24, 2010 12:05 am

    How can you say we destroy communitys when most longboarder have done more then you ever will in your life.

    • September 24, 2010 2:11 am

      Nick, thanks for the comment. You are probably right. Anyone who has actually been on a longboard has done more than I ever will (sad but true fact?) Thanks again!

  32. Team Fish permalink
    September 24, 2010 12:18 am

    This should educate you.

    btw, this is about you, “sensei”

    • September 24, 2010 10:23 am

      This thread makes ME want to be a longboarding. Most of you all sound super funny and intelligent…most. Thanks so much for the kind words!

  33. September 24, 2010 12:30 am

    Cogan, I really Do wish you were this boring a person.

    • September 24, 2010 2:12 am

      aux contrare, I’m the most boring person you’ve never met! Thanks for the comment 😛

  34. September 24, 2010 1:26 am

    phew, my first reaction was utter disbelief, bt reading on, the irony sunk in. i love it.

    • September 24, 2010 2:13 am

      Thank you so much for the comment! Utter disbelief is exactly what I was aiming for.

  35. September 24, 2010 2:13 am

    Brilliant! You got me thinking about all the things that we miss out on when we take ‘the fast option’ and shortcuts.

    – they enjoyment of journeys
    – chats with friends and strangers
    – potential for good memories along the way!
    – the time to take things slowly

    I often get off the tube earlier to walk. Yes this means leaving the house earlier, but I’d miss that time and space. It’s tiring always making yourself feel like you are rushing.

    Great post – keep it up.

    • September 24, 2010 2:20 am

      I can honestly say that I completely agree with your points. I’m an avid walker/runner, and enjoy walking a couple miles for class each day (especially in the brisk fall weather). Anyways, thank you for the comment, I really do appreciate the input!

  36. spitandspirits permalink
    September 24, 2010 2:26 am

    Hilarious. Not just your blog, which reminds me of a 1950’s health education alert on the detriments of masturbation, but how some people in the above comments can’t see the satire in an obviously extremely satirical piece.

    We had better not have any replays of War Of The Worlds on radio around their parts, else they’ll be a’ runnin’ for tham thar hills!

    Nice work.

    • September 24, 2010 2:31 am

      Thank you! You are the only person who actually gets that I’m just going for a bad PSA kinda thing with my blog, haha. Anyways, people scare me these days. Thanks for the comment.

  37. September 24, 2010 2:40 am

    wow, I really like this attraction, but I never did it again after a knee injury and had my back at the end of last year. But to watch it sometimes raised my spirits again to do so.

  38. abyssal permalink
    September 24, 2010 3:37 am

    Everyone cut author bashing, chuckling kudos, logical criticism, and immature retorts for a minute. No one identifies the legend in the picture that LEADS this post, who is the one and only Jay Adams. Slap yourself a favor by learning about this guy. Education is what you make it, from a classroom, on the streets, in jail, or insomniacking on entertaining posts buzzing about like a mob stopping traffic on Go Skateboarding day. I share much amusement with the discussed and disgust, as well as my partial agreement: You don’t see anyone trying to be a Jay Adams or Rodney Mullen or Mike Mo on a longboard. These are some of many innovators of the sport, and Jay’s board pictured above, a modern pool-riding set up in the 70’s, was definetly not used to hit snooze buttons. Sure, you see some retro knockoffs and vintage riders trying to bring it back. But is anyone today breaking new ground with a longboard in this sport? If so I’d really like to see it; pass me a link. I see a longboard, I see someone cruising, and there ain’t nothin wrong with that. Keep rolling!

    • September 24, 2010 9:51 am

      I think the next evolution has already been reveled to us…hoverboards! Thanks for the comments!

      • abyssal permalink
        September 24, 2010 10:35 am

        Thanks for that video. It escaped me that longboarders are innovating as far as speed records. I’d definetly choose one over a regular board if trying to fly toward 100mph!!!

  39. September 24, 2010 3:55 am

    I love the sarcasm with which youve written the piece. Refreshing 🙂

  40. September 24, 2010 5:14 am

    Thanks for this Nice Post, Looking to read some more stuff from your coming articles

    • September 24, 2010 9:52 am

      Well, hopefully you won’t be disappointed, but don’t put it past me. Thanks for the sentiments!

  41. September 24, 2010 5:33 am

    Yes, I like it, Interesting and educational. Please continue to write more interesting post in your blog.

  42. September 24, 2010 5:45 am

    Respect to the author of original work. I am want to say thanks for interesting post, and thanks to google for perfect blog search.

  43. September 24, 2010 6:24 am

    Love that people took this post so seriously. Interesting blog.

  44. September 24, 2010 6:52 am

    I totally agree with you….but then again; doesn’t all technology bring: laziness, physical harm, and decreased intelligence? From the car to the microwave? 🙂

    Great post

    • September 24, 2010 9:56 am

      Yes, All technology brings laziness. Therefore, only one solution remains. The destruction of it all. We need to return to ye olde ways. Unfortunately, in order to return to the old ways, we’d have to build a time machine to do. This defeats the purpose of the exercise so…meh…I’m just going to watch tv. Thanks for the comments!

  45. joshsuds permalink
    September 24, 2010 8:13 am

    LMAO! Wow! I just got to work and was reading freshly pressed before starting on a project. I thought you were serious at first but by the end I was cracking up. I have no idea how you got freshly pressed but it was hilarious any way. Loved this line:

    “Longboarding is a problematic activity among the youth of America. It leads to nothing but self-destruction, which in turn could lead to the destruction of our national community.”

  46. September 24, 2010 8:27 am

    While I did like your post, it made me sad! It made me realize that people don’t read enough to understand or enjoy sarcasm. dummies.

  47. Nathan1709 permalink
    September 24, 2010 8:38 am

    Wow, you are either very good at disguising sarcasm as sincerity or you are actually a complete penis.

  48. September 24, 2010 9:30 am

    Hello amigos, I am Anna and I want to make my little commentary. I am want to place your text at my personal blog, with link to your blog. Is it normal for your? give to me your answer, please.

    • September 24, 2010 10:24 am

      Well, I’m not sure what you are talking about, but I would love for you to link my blog on yours! Thanks

  49. Justin permalink
    September 24, 2010 12:13 pm

    why did you even waste time writing this piece of ****?

    • September 24, 2010 12:21 pm

      Good point. I decided to waste my time doing this because my tv broke, the xbox won’t work, and all my friends abandoned me. Naturally, I go straight to writing. Thanks for the comment!

  50. Tim Healy permalink
    September 24, 2010 12:19 pm

    young sir, you are an idiot

    • September 24, 2010 12:26 pm

      Haha, thanks for the comment! At least you are half right, I’m pretty young.

  51. September 25, 2010 11:36 am

    great post! if only i was sporty! haha

  52. September 26, 2010 2:14 am

    I take it it’s not a serious post. I don’t think longboarding would generally have the effects that you describe. It’s a good thing that comments are coming in giving different opinions.

  53. sayitinasong permalink
    September 26, 2010 4:37 am

    Longboarding is hard core. And looks dangerous. I’m always amazed at the skill (and the fearlessness) and wonder about the injuries sutained in training.

  54. September 26, 2010 11:58 am

    Funny and I think clearly facetious, but with a convincing structure and a touch of truth: longboarding is, at the very least, hazardous to the health of the pedestrian students in the way.

  55. September 26, 2010 10:02 pm

    Hey, you have a great blog here! I’m definitely going to bookmark you! Thank you for your info.And this is **Above Pools** site/blog. It pretty much covers ###Above Pools## related stuff.

  56. September 28, 2010 2:28 am

    I read halfway through the blog before I decided on stopping, reading the comments, and finally realizing this blog was an exercise. haha! Congratz on making Freshly Pressed!

  57. September 29, 2010 11:28 pm

    A failed sociologist’s observations: People sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between satire and seriousness.

    What do you think is driving this phenomenon, Sensei?

  58. October 2, 2010 10:54 am

    You know haw many college girls are rapped because they were walking?

    Also, yes… I am very lazy. So lazy, I worked a 19 hour work day in the rain last Sunday.

    Not everyone is money motivated.

    I’d hate to see you climb into a time machine and live like humans did 1,000 years ago… You’d be lucky to reach age 15.

    Last note: This blog is the poorest example of a joke-blog.

  59. October 2, 2010 1:00 pm

    I know someone that started longboarding when she was little, she’s now sponsored and a TEACHER.

  60. Aubrie permalink
    October 30, 2010 1:39 am

    Hilarious. Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Very clever. Almost too clever.

    P.S. All the comments, and your comments in reply, are hysterical. The whole, stingray/Irwin incident does make me wonder, what’s coming?

  61. Amaaaaaaaabee permalink
    October 12, 2011 7:15 pm

    this is erroneous. I barely got through the second paragraph because it just sounds like a bunch of presumptous, ill-informed and bitter nonesense. Are you by any chance qualified to make the assumption that people who longboard don’t eat breakfast?? Or any other stupid thing you have wrongfully assumed about longboarders? If you’ve had a bad experience with a longboarder, then I am sorry for you, but don’t generalize your insulting and idiotic assumptions to the rest of the people out there who longboard. Blogging is cool and all, but nobody (except maybe you) wants to read your pathetic ranting and raving on your pathetic blog.

  62. Trollololo permalink
    November 28, 2011 7:25 pm

    Hey every one, automobiles are out to destroy our nation, for the reasons listed above, driving causes laziness, physical harm, and decreased intelligence. You should never drive a car… ever again! it is less social, requires zero physical activity, and in general will have a greater reduction on commute time.

    – the neighborhood troll =)

  63. Dean permalink
    December 20, 2011 7:20 pm

    I was looking for hard facts. All I got was a damn troll. Time wasted. Thx.

  64. Dean permalink
    December 20, 2011 7:22 pm

    I was looking for hard facts. All I got was a damn troll. Non imformative, disgustingly far from humorous. Time wasted. Thx.

  65. Michael permalink
    April 12, 2012 1:26 am

    Your an idiot.

  66. Ruth permalink
    July 7, 2012 7:15 pm

    This is beyond stupid.

  67. Trifon Papahronis permalink
    October 4, 2012 4:56 pm

    First of all, have you ever ben longboarding? You plrobably haven’t. Its the greatest thing in the world; the feeling of gliding around the turn while doing a perfect slide or going down a hill at 30 miles/hour. If anyone who reads this post has never been longboarding, try it, its the best.

  68. Mr.T permalink
    October 8, 2012 6:36 pm

    WTF?! this does not promote laziness! Longboarding is one of the few active things that I do; it gets me outside instead of getting fat playing video-games. If anything, longboarding should do the opposite of promote laziness. This is bull shit.

  69. Trey permalink
    February 5, 2013 10:31 pm

    I’d really like to know the reason behind this. Why are you descriminating against long boarders? I longboard! I might not be in college yet, but I’m not lazy, and I’ve always gotten good grades. Longboarding has also allowed me to make more friends because I can relate and connect to more people. I think your evidence is faulty, and the entire post is biased BS.

  70. February 6, 2013 2:32 pm

    I am guessing you have tried longboarding and suffered the ‘decreased intelligence’ part right? Laziness? Maybe we should start driving cars instead?
    Dumb article is dumb…

  71. Pogo permalink
    March 29, 2013 10:23 am

    laziness? are we assuming that all wheeled transportations make you lazy? or are we assuming that living close to your working spot makes you lazier than living far away? How the hell do you say that walking is healthy but riding a board is not using your leg muscles? I am sorry for my english level, may be is because I use to ride or may be is because English is not my mother language and I speak other 6 languages. Riding since I was 13 (27 by now) was not a problem while studying my sociology carreer or becoming a succesfull photographer.

    I see you didn’t need to ride to be lazy to write about something you don’t know without doing any kind of research first. And we are not so dumb that we can’t realise that there’s absolutely no straight connection between the snooze button or decrease of intelligence and riding a board instead of walking.

    what you do is called demagogy, but is extremelly fun.

    I am waiting for your next post relating rock music with satanic rituals or how listening to Metal will lead everyone to consume heroin.

    Do you know what sensei means? you lack the knowledge and the inteligence, even a longboarder will see that

  72. yes permalink
    May 9, 2013 5:17 am

    Evidently you’re the lazy one if you’ve done no research on longboarding at all, maybe take a look on youtube and watch longboarders achieve speeds of 130km/h, chuck out 180ft slides (powerslides), and race globally against many different competitors from many different nations. Now as a longboarder, majority ( I would even say all) of our community in the area are out early every weekend, skating from as early as 6am, until 6pm, now that, in my opinion cancels out the ‘lazy’ factor of a longboarder.

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