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Eat Mor (LGBT) Chikin – LGBT Poultry in Business

August 1, 2012
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clucky-clucky!

Until recently, I was completely unaware of the LGBT chicken community. I have overheard many people talking about comments made by Chick-fil-A executive, Dan Cathy. The media has had a frenzy over the remarks; Christians, conservatives, the LGBT community, and everyone else is all abuzz with mindless chatter. Therefore, I am here to give you the right direction. The actual, factual comments remain a mystery to the Sensei. Also, I still remain unclear about “Chick-fil-A”s (what is it?). No matter, the Sensei only needs ears to hear, and minds to mold. I will give you everything you need to know  regarding the interaction with and consumption of LGBT chickens.

What is an LGBT chicken? This is any sort of chicken that lives an alternative lifestyle. LGBT chickens do not partake in a traditional marriage. Those same-sex chickens will have to adopt chicks, and may face adversity within the poultry community at large. Perhaps those chickens may chose to “feather out” differently from other poultry. Maybe those chickens have interests in fowl cuisine, popular poultry culture, or the cluck-cluck of Hennywood. The sexual orientation of any individual chicken should not exclude them from the dinner table.

Contrary to popular belief, eating a gay chicken does not make you gay. I refuse to base my eating decisions on the sexuality of any particular animal. It seems like too much work. The amount of legwork required to determine an LGBT chicken from a traditional chicken is painstakingly difficult. I am not a chicken expert, but most chickens look the same to me. Poultry headed for consumption will only live 4 months before bhieing slaughtered. Let the chickens live their short lives in peace.

Chick-fil-As should serve whatever chicken they can acquire. How much money is the company wasting by investigating the private life of each fowl? Couldn’t that money be given to charities? My personal message to Chick-fil-A executives is thus: stop judging chickens, and feed me more of them!

Eat Mor (LGBT) Chikin.

sensei

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One Comment leave one →
  1. T loaf permalink
    October 5, 2012 12:14 pm

    This is the best thing I’ve seen.

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