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Depressing Thoughts—>Depressing People

November 10, 2009

Just in case you didn’t know…the APOCALYPSE is coming. seriously. I’ve been feeling a bit concerned lately. I think you should be too. Evidence I’ve gathered from extensive studies on discovery channel specials conclude that the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. What are we going to do when the world ends?

nothing

According to my sources, we won’t be here after the world ends. This makes perfect sense. How could we STILL be here if the world is no longer? Maybe YOU are that Will Smith-esque character who can escape utter annihilation. Perhaps people don’t get this far when thinking about the destruction of life as we know it. SO what are we going to do? Well firstly, let me give you a few signs that the apocalypse is drawing nigh…

1) People over the age of 11 choose to ride SCOOTERS as a form of non-motor vehicle transportation

2) A blatant disregard for check out lines that are 20 items or less

3) A resurgence in the canned food industry

4) Sam’s Club sales shooting through the roof

5) Higher production of coins opposed to dollar bills in recent years (coins don’t burn as easily)

These are all small signs pointing towards the end of the world. If I were you, I would start stockpiling all your resources in a small, damp cellar. Learn some crafts that could help you survive if you figure out a way to escape complete world destruction. Assemble your nuclear winter supply kit, and GET READY

So…find some skills for the new world. Let me know what those skills are, and where you’ll be post-apocalypse so we can meet up and start our chemically infused, nuclear fall-out, organic beet farm…

-Sensei


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One Comment leave one →
  1. Shermom permalink
    November 13, 2009 8:59 am

    Is that Sam’s comment a jab at me? Very funny!

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